We realized quite quickly that no trip to Texas could be complete without experiencing a little bit of Lone Star criminal justice. So, thorougly bored with Houston, we shot up the highway toward Huntsville, home of the Texas death chamber, headquarters of one of the nation's largest penal systems, and - of course - the site of the Texas Prison Museum.

When we arrived in Huntsville - passing a huge statue of Sam Houston along the way - it was pouring and folks were protesting (or celebrating) the scheduled execution of some poor fucker later that evening. The dude got lucky - just before midnight, the fax he was desperately waiting for came in from the Court of Appeals and he got a stay. There must have been some pissed-off Texans out there that night. Early the next morning, fueled by Dennys' Chicken Fried Steak, we headed out on the path to justice. First we went into town to check out the prison museum itself. The TEXAS PRISON MUSEUM was a pretty cool place - there was a big display on the famous Huntsville Prison Rodeo which used to happen in a stadium on prison grounds every Sunday in October. Interestingly, we learned that Texas state  prisoners haven't actually worn stripes since the 1800's, except in the Rodeo. They don't have the rodeo anymore, but prison rodeo enthusiasts (or just fans of the movie 'Stir Crazy') can still check one out at the Louisiana state penitentiary in Angola, the subject of "The Farm," a must-see documentary. But we digress. The Texas Prison Museum also had a scale model of the Huntsville Prison complex which tells you a lot about the incredible administrative effort it takes to run such an institution. Of course there were plenty of pictures of notorious Huntsville prisoners - both male AND female, collections of homemade weapons and escape tools  confiscated from inmates, and historical displays (including weapons owned by Clyde Barrow of "Bonnie and Clyde fame," plus a thank-you letter that Clyde wrote to Henry Ford for designing such a useful getaway car). There were also oil portraits of all the former heads of the Texas prison system --  all very well-fed, no-nonsense-looking white guys.

Jail Cell

But the real attraction was Ol' Sparky, himself. Encased behind glass in a room designed to give you the feel of a real death chamber was the actual electric chair used for hundreds of executions before Texas progressed to lethal injection. It was pretty creepy looking at that chair and the heavy leather straps, imagining all the folks whose last look at the world came when they were tied down on that thing, just before the mask was placed over their eyes and the belt was tightenedaround their skull. It was also quite charred in a lot of places - electrical currents sufficient to literally boil your blood and fry your brain obviously had a significant side effect on the wood as well. And while executions are certainly a grim, solemn subject, the electric chair exhibit did have its humor as well, in the form of a collection of prisoners' last-meal requests. One particularly assertive "dead man walking" asked for steak with fried onions and peppers, two cheeseburgers, butter beans, biscuits, corn on the cob, fried chicken, lemon icebox pie, and three sliced bananas topped by whipped chocolate ice cream (and, of course, everyone requested Dr. Pepper, the Texas National Drink). Below his request, the guy wrote "this is my last meal, and damn it, I want it served hot, on as many plates as it takes you people to make sure my food doesn't mix together!"). It's amazing to think how much one could eat just before you're about to get zapped.

Another interesting part of the museum was an actual Huntsville two-man prison cell. It was preserved to every detail, including the shaving kit slung on a hook by the door. Lee and Eric both wondered - and tried not to think too much about - what the inmate's Vaseline Petroleum Jelly was being used for. after leaving the museum, the boys took a spin around the town. Just behind main street was the original prison itself - hulking and sprawling behind high, red brick walls. The facility is primarily used these days for administration, although it still houses the death house. We were particularly amused by a huge "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" banner hanging from the front wall, right below the death house. Either those guys are genuine or they have a hell of a sense of humor. Thoroughly creeped out at that point, we got the fuck out of town and headed for the Big D, where the spirit of Jack Ruby awaited us.

Prison Zone

Check out these other fun prison links:

fascinating web site by PBS

20 people were killed by lethal injection last year here

Doin' Lethal Injection Texas Style!

Good Death Row Inmate Page

Yahoo Category (growing every month, but then again, it might shrink, too).

The official Stop Prisoner Rape page

Colefax Prison Fantasy Series! (Gay S & M)

Prison Penpals

The one and only Black Peoples' Prison Survival Guide

A Pen-Pal and Singles Introduction Service