Pork Rind Reviews

Hi, I'm Lee, and I play in a band called, Punchy.  We tour all over Texas, and I never miss a chance to get all the Pork Rinds I can get every time we stop by at a convenience store on the way home from a gig.  I thought I'd provide a review of these snacks as a public service should you happen to find them.  Please let me know what you think of my results.  This page is intended to be a goof on all the cigar/wine/scotch experts who write these overly effusive and arrogant sounding reviews of their respected substances and use $20 words to sound all cool.  Well, dammit, Pork Rinds are my vice, so here you go.  Click here for an explanation of my rating system.


March 1999


Bill's Country Recipe (Arlington, TX): HOT


 

Appearance

Character

Bouquet

Flavor & Texture

Lingering Effects

Large rinds, more orange color than red, good looking fat ripples, no veins.

Pretty Weak Packaging.

This was the best aspect of this bag, the smell of these pork rinds filled the Suburban as I opened up... It made it so I couldn't wait to eat them.

The texture was very good. However, the flavor was a bit one sided... too much heat: kind of like hitting your tongue with a staple gun. I was more impressed with how easily the rinds seemed to dissolve into a little puddle of grease on my tongue with every bite... They were so light and fluffy, the seemed to melt in my mouth!

None worth mentioning.

We sampled this bag at my house.  I put on some candles and put in one of my favorite CDs: Slayer's Unconditional Attitude.  The anger in the music was only complimented by the overpowering heat of these rinds.  While I found them to be palatable, some of my guests found them overpowering.  As the night wore on, however, and the effects of the Dalwhinnie (a very fine Single Malt Highland Scotch that ended up being a good compliment to these rinds) mellowed us out, so we ended up deciding this bag provided enough of a a true blast of pork flavor, and we felt pretty good about it..  We'd also recommend smoking either a Ballena or a Calle Ocho cigar with one of these bags of pork joy...

Picture of the bag (front & back)


Brim's Old South: Soft Style, Salt'N Vinegar (Bartlett, TN) 


 

Appearance

Character

Bouquet

Flavor & Texture

Lingering Effects

Small, Think, Yellow/White.  Uniform size cuts of pig skin..

Cute Pig in Chef's Hat Logo.  Most of the product is concealed by the packaging.  Bible Quote on the bag adds tremendous character bonus.  Philippians 4:19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Jesus Christ".

Can barely smell vinegar!  I just smell pig!

Overly heavy and hard supercrunchy texture.  There is an occasional piece that has that melt-in-your-mouth quality that I look for in a good pork rind, but these are way to heavy for me.  Moreover, even after I licked my finger, shoved it down at the bottom of the bag where all the salt had settled and licked it again I barely detected any vinegar flavor at all.  Big let down on taste.

Mild Queasiness.

Hope tells a flattering tale
Delusive, vain, and hollow.
Ah! let not hope prevail,
Lest disappointment follow.
          Miss ---- Wrother: The Universal Songster. Vol. ii. p. 86.

It was not unlike a Herculean task to find this: a bag of salt 'n vinegar pork rinds!  Our reader's have been asking all about them.  Do they exist?  Where can I find them?  Well, yes they do, but oh what a let down.  If it weren't for the excuisite charactor of the bag, these rinds would have definately gotten a 2 star rating.

To set the mood for this experience, we busted out a very fine Single Malt: Tullibardine Highland 21 yr.  I put an old vinyl version of John Coltrane's Lush Life on the Hi Fi and a friend produced an assortment of cigars from Caballeros, Montesino and Paul Garmirian.  But we were to be greatly let down.  The rinds themselves sat heavy in our stomachs, and while we found them to be soundly made with no noticible flaws, there was little or no Vinegar flavor.  When I get a bag of flavored Pork Rinds, I expect at least some flavor:  my palate won't accept anything less.  Nice bag though!



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